A blog post

Life After Healing

Self-forgiveness
“Forgiving your self means that you give up the right to blame yourself for what you could not control. You may have achieved some level of intellectual self-forgiveness through your rational analysis of the assault. However, emotional self-forgiveness can take much longer and it requires you to acknowledge and process your anger, grief, and other strong feelings.” This is a process that needs to continue even after the cognitive healing has taken place.

Moving on
The past will always be part of you and you may be faced with memories of what happened. It is important to remember, what happened to you does not make you who you are. Changing your thinking is a life change and it is necessary to continue to work on your emotional growth and using rational self-talk.

Making amends
“Perhaps there were times when you misdirected your anger regarding your victimization onto other people who did not deserve it. If you feel guilty about these actions, you may want to apologize or make amends to these people.” It is not acceptable to excuse your behaviors because of your victimization; you need to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. Your victimization does not give you the right to hurt and victimize others. If you acted irresponsibly towards others and used your victimization as an excuse, you need to change these behaviors and make amends to those you hurt.

At no time should you ever use your victimization to excuse your irresponsible, hurtful behaviors.

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