“If you are patient in one moment of anger you will avoid 100 days of sorrow.”
Many people who have not learned to understand anger within themselves struggle to recognize it as it approaches, only becoming aware once it has exploded and become overwhelming. Learning to identify anger as it begins to escalate is an enormous step in taking control of anger within yourself.
Definition of Anger:
1. [n] belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong (personified as one of the deadly sins)
2. [n] a strong emotion; a feeling that is oriented toward some real or supposed grievance
Physical Cues –
Anger is a normal reaction to a perceived threat. All animals have certain physiological reactions to threat which allow us to respond physically: for example, to run away from danger, to fight to protect ourselves or our family, or to ‘freeze’ in order to avoid being seen by another creature that poses a danger.
Examples of physical cues girls have listed in discussion:
Ringing in ears
Feeling over heated
Get very quiet
Heart begins to race
Get knots in stomach
Experience a back ache
Get sweaty palms
Feel legs shaking
These signs can be used as ‘cues’ to let you know when your anger is escalating and you need to take control before things get out of hand. Some of these cues may take place sooner than others. If you tune into these physical cues to anger, you can learn to recognize them earlier and respond to your emotions in more planned and effective ways.
Ask Yourself: What can you do to control your physical cues? What coping mechanisms could you use that could help you stop the escalation of anger? Have you ever controlled your physical cues in the past, if so how? What would it look like when you do control your physical cues?
Emotional cues –
When people get angry they frequently notice themselves starting to feel differently. It is important to notice how you are changing internally when you experience anger so it can be kept in control.
Examples of emotional cues girls have listed in discussion:
These signs can be used to help you identify when you are getting angry. These emotions are not always bad emotions, but when used to fuel anger they can be hurtful. When these emotions are noticed in relationship to anger it is important for you to take control of these emotions so they do not spiral out of control.
Ask Yourself: Why do you notice emotional cues when you are beginning to experience anger? How is anger tied into your emotions? What can you do to control the emotions you are experiencing due to anger?